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Today I'm delighted to announce Cancer, my latest crab-computing chip. Cancer has state-of-the-art performance across a number of metrics.
For example, Cancer performed a standard benchmark computation in under five minutes that would take the world's fastest supercomputers longer than the age of the universe to complete.
It has been rigorously demonstrated that swarms of crabs can be used to implement logic gates when placed in geometrically constrained environments [1](Gunji, Nishiyama, & Adamatzky, 2012).
But today's announcement conclusively proves that such crab-computers can achieve supremacy over classical machines.
Errors are one of the greatest challenges in crab computing, since crabs have a tendency to escape, making it difficult to protect the information needed to complete a computation. Typically the more crabs you use, the more escapes will occur, until the system loses coherence.
Today, I publish results showing that the more crabs I use in Cancer, the more I actually reduce errors, and the more robust the system becomes.
The key insight is that when crabs are placed in a bucket, they tend to pull each other back down, achieving an exponential reduction in the escape rate - an accomplishment known in the field as "below threshold".
As a measure of Cancer's performance, I used the random crab sampling (RCS) benchmark. RCS is the classically hardest benchmark that can be done on a crab computer today.
The challenge of RCS is to generate a random distribution of crabs by shaking the bucket for a few minutes, and then taking samples of the orientations and positions of different crabs to confirm that the machine is accurately modeling crab dynamics.
Since crabs in a shaken bucket become highly entangled and belligerent, the only way for a classical computer to correctly simulate the same final outcome is to perform a brute-force search of every possible evolution of crab-state-space, a feat which rapidly becomes intractable as the number of crabs multiplies.
Cancer's performance on this benchmark is astonishing: It performed a computation in under 5 minutes that would take one of today's fastest supercomputers over 11 septillion years.
This mind-boggling number exceeds known timescales in physics and lends credence to "carcinization" - the theory that in every parallel universe, Nature is inexorably driven to reinvent both crabs and crab-based computing [2](Keiler, Wirkner & Richter, 2017).
Although Cancer only supports 105 crabs in a single bucket so far, these groundbreaking results demonstrate that we are on the cusp of unlocking high-performance general-purpose crab computing that far exceeds the capabilities of classical supercomputers.
I recommend the development and adoption of crab-resistant encryption and digital signature algorithms as a matter of extreme urgency.




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