My girlfriend left. My parents unfriended me on Facebook. I ate canned beans for 6 months and lived in a storage unit with 3 miners and a Roomba. They said crypto was dead. I said: I’m not done losing yet. So I did what any financially unwell man would do… I YOLO’d my last $83 into $SCAMCOIN at launch. 14 months later, I own a gold-plated hot tub, two Discord mods, and a metaverse island shaped like my face. Am I still emotionally unstable? Yes. Am I rich now? Also yes.