if your parents ever try to make you feel like a failure, it's not because they deeply care about you, even if that's what they try to convince you their egos are too strongly tied to your success, and they feel personally worse off if you "fail them", in a highly selfishly way

i was very lucky to have parents that had no ego attached to my success, so when i dropped out of high school their pleading for me to stay in school came from a place of love and compassion, never blaming or making me feel like a failure, or accusing me to make their lives worse

it's more common that your parents have strong egos if they didn't succeed themselves but really wanted to, or if they have strong egos towards showing off to others what they have, and you are their highest prized possession. this is even more common in a lot of cultures

i never realized how great my parents were. they have still never become angry at me without coming back after 10 minutes and apologizing, and making sure i always knew they supported me no matter what. huge inspiration

i'm writing this because after moving to the US and meeting people here who grew up extremely competitively, i have realized that this is very far from true for most people

the best way to get out of this abusive relationship is to not react. you parents do in fact love you, but their ego will be stronger for short periods than their compassion and they can't notice when it happens, so they genuinely think they give you advice

don't react to what they say emotionally, and remember that they are talking unconsciously might make it easier. if you manage to do this, you can simply ask them with zero judgement why they are accusing and blaming their own child

10k views and 3 comments, it was a touchy subject

yeah i think the lack of comments makes it not spread as fast as posts usually do with level of likes damnit this is why you can't reach a lot of people about touchy things even if you finally managed to articulate something well