One heuristic I've found helpful for understanding (and writing) is a heuristic I call "1, 2, infinity" When I study a single example of something, I tend to overgeneralize, often badly. Studying two examples helps a lot -- I realize how many of my beliefs were mere overgeneralization. But even then, I usually end up overgeneralizing (and focused on) on the differences At the third example, if it's strikingly different, I usually find my brain internalizes: oh, there's a *lot* more variety here than I suspected. And I become much more cautious In writing, you get much of the benefit of this pattern from just three examples. But I was thinking about "Pride and Prejudice" from this point of view, and one of the things that's so marvellous about it is the incredible long tail of examples. There are dozens of romances in that book, and they're nearly all quite different, even when merely evoked in a line or two. And the principal half dozen or so romances are illuminated by the other less detailed stories

I'm quite bothered by the last post. It's written in social media advice speak :-(. The underlying point is, I think, very interesting, but I don't like the voice at all. May be time for immersion in very different, less pontifical, cultures...